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She did not have low self esteem because she thought she was ugly. More the opposite, she had always felt that she looked too sexy. She was long legged, skinny and had big breasts. She had been a good, modest, catholic girl; trapped in a hot babe’s body. Thinking of her teenage years made her feel bad. She was partly ashamed of how prudish she had been, but also ashamed of how Tom made her show of her body nowadays. She remembered how guilty she felt when she discovered masturbation. How she had traveled to a different city to go confess because she did not want the priest in their town to know. Julie remembered how bad and helpless she had felt when she slowly got more and more addicted to fingering herself. She recalled the endless hand washing to get the smell of her fingers, and the sense that everyone could look into her head and see her dirty thoughts. In retrospect, her relation with Tom, or at least their sex life, had evolved around a similar pattern. When they met she had. ” “Sorry,” he squeezed her leg and leaning over, took her face and kissed her passionately, “but I’m not sorry I came back, I thought about you from the moment I set foot in Melbourne.” “Oh Brad,” she kissed his neck, “I have thought about you as well, more than you think.” Her mind was made up as she turned into town, she would follow this man wherever he went today, no camp counselor, preacher, or concerned parishioner would keep her from Brad. Opportunity Knocks. The door had creaked open and Katie had giggled with delight at the mattress by the fireplace. Had he put it there just for her benefit? “I like sleeping by the fire,” he explained, “nothing beats a log fire.” And now she was standing in his bathroom after a light meal punctuated with meaningful glances and sly smiles. At one stage he got up to get a drink of water and, stepping around behind her, stroked her neck. She leaned back into him and closed her eyes, not wanting him to stop his sensual massage. It ended.
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